I cant quite grasp life. Every time I think I'v got a handle on it, it slips right out of my fingers. I picture a grocery bag filled with different happenings and situations. One to many and the bag rips, spilling the contents all over the tiled floor. eggs break and milk spills, and sometimes you can't help but to cry over it. But you can always count on life to surprise you! I'm experiencing new things every day, can't say I would have wished for them but they bring humility and understanding. Just recently I found out my mother had cancer, and she laughed when she told me "so darling, its cancer." I also kissed my best friend, we both agree that it was not for the best, he's just out of a relationship and he's my best friend, yet I selfishly and immaturely want more from him. I told him the other day I was upset with his "it was a mistake" reaction, even though I had agreed with the statement earlier. I don't know what I feel & now I am afraid I have made more of a mess in our friendship. He has me so befuddled (oh but what a great word). The latter problem is not so much unprecedented for a teen but it's new to me and at a rather horrid time. Yet on the upside that experience gave me a chance to use the word befuddled and allows me to question myself and my feelings for him. Oh and I forgot to mention I am quite sure a 25 year old virgin boy I care a lot about, in somewhat of a sisterly way, is falling in love with me. Now that one is quite surprising indeed, surprising I was even able to find a 25 yearold virgin.
So now all I'v got to do is pick up the groceries, put them carefully back in the bag, and mop up the mess.
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