liFe iS oDd

How does the universe work? Not long ago I opened up to my boyfriend about some crazy theories I have. Some may not feel they are crazy but for those who are not in on the secret... Well, anyway I gave him a taste of the ideas and beliefs that I have come to hold. I said, you may not believe in a God, or greater power (he doesn't), but I think that Life works in a much more meaningful way then you realize. I think that life can bring you what you ask for. I think that things may happen not only by chance but for a reason. This of course brings up a whole load of questions. Why then do bad things happen, I didn't ask for terrible things to go wrong.

My boyfriend has bipolar disorder, of course the man I choose and am falling absolutely in love with has mental issues. I tell him if you were not so weird and odd, then you would never be able to keep up with me. Sure bipolar sucks but babe, if it weren't for that you wouldn't have become who you are today and I fell in love with who you are today. Yet, he still has a ways to go before he becomes as positive as me. This idea that life gave us gifts, that happenings may have reasons was hard for him to accept. I told him, I don't imagine that everything in life was meant to be for some personal reason, or maybe for any reason at all. Some things do just happen, its the law of nature, as one action happens a correlating response will automatically result. What I mean is that when we put out energy (the action) a correlating response will occur. Positive energy brings a positive response. Energy is a real and motivating force. Even in science we know matter cannot be destroyed yet it can change form, for example into energy. Energy can also change form back into matter. It is a cycle that is scientifically proven, yet we never imagine that it's a process human beings can use for our own benefit. Giving will result in others giving back to you. Hurting will result in your own pain. It's a kind of karma, but impersonal. Life is not deciding, "Joe, you were lazy at work today, and your taste in clothing sucks, I think I'll send you some bad luck." Also we cannot stop the results of other peoples thoughts and what energy they send out. Life or God if you believe in that sort of thing, do not decide it's time for a country to go bankrupt or a child to starve, or % of killings to rise, these are acts of human action and thought. We try to blame God or Life but if it were all up to him then we would have no free will at all. I do believe we can bring about positive occurrences just by a positive attitude but we still must choose to feel positive. We are all made up of energy when it comes down to it, us, matter, water, money, TV's... so is it really that hard to believe that energy can affect the way things interact with us. I feel I have brought many positive things (good grades, cheap car, job, my odd boyfriend, good parking spots) in to my life by being positive. My bipolar boyfriend was finally coming around to the issue, until he lost his job, got kicked out of his house, and caught my cold. Then he as many have before him uttered "why is this all happening to me, whats up with your universe!" I laughed, and said I don't know but its all going to work out. Sometimes I doubt my theory, maybe everything is just random and meaningless. But I'm probably right! Sometimes we can't see the big picture when we're standing so close to the obstacle in front of us, we cant see over or around it and begin to wonder if we can ever get past it... but if we just step back a bit the smaller the obstacle will seem and the way around it will soon become apparent. Sometimes we can only see the good after the situation has passed. And sometimes we just have to accept that we were putting out some negative energy which attracted more negativity. Struggling against what has already happened wont help, finding the positive is much more fun, even if my theory is BS. So here I am being positive for the both of us... sending out specific positive energy... I will place my order to Life from her catalogue of possibilities.

*My wonderful boyfriend, who is undoubtably a gift from life, will have great luck. Life is going to work out okay...beautifully. He has a new job, an excellent job that pays well, happens to be a good social setting, and gives good benefits. He has an awesome girlfriend who is totally HOT!! An't he lucky? He is living at home again (true). He smiles all the time now (he should, it makes him look much sexier). He is doing well in school and feels confident about life. He is going to get into Berkeley (duh!) I have high standards. I will find a new job (doesn't a girl deserve a bit more than min wage?), a perfect fit for me while I work hard and get impressive grades. Positive financial opportunities will open up for us (mmhmm!). Oh and I am returning to my perfect goal weight, old jeans I'll  get you out of my closet again ( I am a woman, of course that goes on the list). Thank you, Life. For all this and all the amazing things you have already provided me.